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I MUST BE GOING CRAZY (POEM)

29 January, 2012

Though not great poetry, the poem below captures some of the key symptoms suffered by sexual abuse survivors:

SURVIVOR

I still see the evil shadow in the darkness of the night

from the bed where warmth and safety should have been my given right.

I hear the voice which calls my name or cries out in distress

I’m terrified of being left alone in helplessness.

For in the blackness, in the night when I am all alone,

is when I hear the footsteps, bumps and breathing in my home.

Even when I sleep I cannot find escape or peace.

Nightmare earthquakes, floods and fires, vicious frightening beasts

threaten me or family and chase me out of breath,

and perhaps the worst of all of these are the dreams I dream of death.

Daylight drives the dreams away but not my haunting fear

of furtive shadows in the halls, of unseen eyes that leer,

of sudden movements captured in the corners of my eyes,

of the evil presence, the unseen touch that chills my soul to ice.

I live in silence with all of these because I fear that maybe

if I told you of these awful things, you would think I’m crazy.

FOOTNOTE:  This is used by permission of Family Service America.  While I did write it, it was included in a paper published by them in 1985 in the journal then known as Social Casework (now The Family in Society).  Because of that publishing, they own the copyright.

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2 Comments
  1. I was recommended to this website through my cousin. I’m now not positive whether or not this was written by means of him as no one else could know such specifics about my difficulty. You are amazing! Thank you!

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